The Light on Rainy Days
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: She used to be herself and drop out her mask.


_She had always loved rainy days. There was a unique light, subtle through the clouds. It was when the city dared to show up its secrets and whole beauty. At last. The empty streets were shining under the rain. The streetlights, all the day on, gave that special shade to the buildings and a dark atmosphere used to spread out its magic over the whole city while the tyres of the cars, brushing the asphalt, sang a languorous melody. Rocking the thousands of souls living there._

It may seem curious but she never sent for her driver by then. Not even took an umbrella. However she spent a lot of time outside when the sky was all gray. She just walked, over and over. Aimlessly. Only enjoying the colors of the streets under the rain. The life slowing down. Stiffled. And the drops on her skin, passing through her clothes while the blocks passing. She could go to Chinatown where the bright red of the signs seemt to appear all of sudden from nowhere. Like a lighthouse in the middle of a fog.

It was bewitching. Unique. When the first streets of Little Italy shew up, she loved fantasizing and thinking she was someone else. An actress of an old movie, in the 20's Chicago. When life used to take place in the smoky room of a cabaret, hidden behind the front of a deli in order to escape from The Prohibition. Or that she was sat on the bed of a creepy motel room, waiting for her lover. A dangerous mafioso she would be madly in love with. And would even have a tattoo on her thigh, with his name on it.

Of course nobody knew what she used to do when the rain was pouring. Not even Jack, as close as they could be. It was her moment, her own one. And she didn't feel like sharing it with someone else. Nor telling them about it. Grace just put her absence at work under laziness or rainy shopping day. And Will, when he came to know about it, found out the explanation by the fact she was just being herself, after all. Nothing really surprising. But Karen Walker was actually very far from that. And the real why a bit more human. Behind her hazel colored eyes used to remain those details. Little secrets that made her smile and love so much her life.

She wasn't a dreamer but an observer. She fed herself with all these things that caught up her gaze. As tiny as they could be. And rainy days were the best ones for it. She didn't do any make-up when she went out for those walks. And so she could let the water fall on her face like a million of small hands caressing her skin. Peacefully. She used to sit down on a bench and close her eyes to enjoy even more the contact of the drops from her forehead till her chin. Plunging then in the depth of her lap. She was never high nor drunk when she saw the clouds in the sky in the morning, while waking up. She didn't want to spoil her day and needed true feelings to appreciate it.

She was turning on Mott Street, heart of Chinatown, when her eyes met with an old lady. She stopped and stayed still, unable to move. Like hypnotized. The Chinese woman was carrying a brown bag and going down the street. Slowly. She couldn't say why but she started following her, speeding up her pace when the old lady disappeared behind a red wooden door. She pushed it and entered a buddhist temple. Candles were glimmering everywhere, lighting the room plunged in the dark, a gold statue of Buddha in its center. She moved forwards slowly, quietly, looking for the Chinese woman.

But she found herself alone. An only door leading outside : the one she had pushed a few seconds before. She frowned, confused. Overwhelmed. She was about to go out when she noticed something on the ground. She leaned down and took it up. It was a piece of paper with some Chinese letters on it. She turned it and read the English written words : Right time. She looked all around her. As if the explanation was about to show up all of a sudden from behind a pillar. She began to feel uncomfortable, as if a presence was staring at her, observing her. About to jump on her. She rushed out.

The rain hit her face when she found back the coolness of the street. She was breathing heavily, her hands shaking. Her eyes were blank, fixing absent-mindedly the store opposite to her. On the other sidewalk. She passed her hand through her wet hair, pushing it backwards and did some unsteady steps till it. Her feet were already on the asphalt when a scream made her come back to reality and she felt a hand pulling her backwards quickly. Just a few seconds before a truck passed in front of her and vanished at the corner. « Are you okay, miss ? » She turned herself and didn't hide her surprise when she saw who was still holding her hand. Tightly.

« Will ? »  
« Karen ? »

Both stayed still a few seconds, surprised by the unexpected meet. And Will's gesture. Towards her. But he suddenly realized how she was shaking and noticed her wet clothes while the rain was getting strength. They found a tea room a few steps away and sat down next to the window. Silently. She had a feeling to have woken up the second before. From a very far dream, lost in a fuzzy world. And was still half-asleep. They didn't speak till the waiter brought two mugs and a tea kettle. She closed her eyes when she felt the hot liquid sliding along her throat, warming up her whole body. She finally looked up and stared at her friend sat in front of her.

He had decided to let her regain consciousness, seeing how confused she was. After all a truck had almost run over her. She must be in shock, which could explain her blank gaze. But what was she doing there ? Why was she all soaked ? And her face, so pale. He already knew there was something more and was pretty sure she wasn't going to tell him the whole truth. Because she didn't want to. He had never seen her in such a state. Totally lost and afraid. Panicked. And so he put his hand on hers, there, on the table of the empty tea room. A Chinese music playing in the background. Joining the sound of the water of a fake and miniature fountain next to them.

The warmness of his skin against hers was reassuring and she began to stop shaking. What was he doing here ? What had just happened ? To her ? Why did he take her hand, there, on the sidewalk ? Pulling her backwards. She stayed quiet, just looking at his worried gaze. Did she have to tell him everything ? Confess him her secrets ? Why she loved so much walking under the rain and so lose in a couple of seconds those details she had been keeping for herself during so many years. Too intimate to be shared. And let someone reach the thoughts of her unique soul. She opened her mouth to speak but the words didn't come. She frowned and looked down, frustrated. 

« Are you feeling better ? »

She lifted her head and nodded, silently. They finished their tea in silence and left. She jumped of surprise when the small bell hung up to the door sounded while they were opening it and the coolness of the weather took back possesion of her immediately as soon as she reached the street. It was still raining, the Chinese streetlights glimmering in the downward glows of the day. He put his arm around her shoulders and they went away.

« I'm sorry Karen, I don't have any umbrella. »

She smiled while looking down at the ground.

« It's okay Will. »

Perhaps one day she would tell him. About those walks on rainy days. How she loved the sensation of the water on her skin. And the light, those shades. That she could go on and on during hours. Aimlessly. That it's when the city reveals its secrets. As she would do with him. Maybe. After all right now he was a part of her fantasies, there, while the rain was pouring. He just didn't know it. That he was with the actress of an old movie. The dangerous man's thigh-tattooed lover. Who knew what her hazel colored eyes were hiding ? What kind of story they were telling. How surprisingly safe she was feeling. There. In his arms. Certainly not him. But perhaps one day…

Suddenly she turned her head and looked at the person they had just crossed, keeping on walking. Here she was, again. The old lady. Her gaze met Karen's one, furtively. The Chinese woman smiled and moved her lips silently. « Right time ». But she suddenly vanished as they turned at the corner and left Chinatown behind them. The rain still pouring.


End file.
